Why do some people insist on saying things you clearly don't want to hear? Because not everything spoken is communication. When someone insists on saying things you don't want to hear, it's no longer about dialogue—it's crossing boundaries. Many people have experienced this: you've explicitly expressed that you don't want to listen, but the other person still insists on speaking, even adding, "You might not want to hear this, but I still want to say it." Have you noticed that this phrase itself isn't asking for your permission? Its true meaning is: I know you don't want to hear this, but I will go beyond you anyway.

Many think this shows low emotional intelligence or poor communication skills, but the deeper reason is that they're not speaking to be understood by you; they're speaking to be validated. Validated what? Validated that their feelings are important, validated that they still have a place with you, validated that they can still occupy your attention. So, whether you want to listen or not has been outside their consideration from the start.

There's also a more common situation: the other person isn't really seeking to communicate—they just want to express themselves anytime and anywhere. Whether you're present or not doesn't matter; whether you listen or not doesn't matter. You're just a "receiver" who is assumed to be there. That's why, the more you try to explain, reason, or respond sincerely, the more exhausting it becomes. Because you're not engaging in dialogue; you're managing their emotions.

Therefore, a very important distinction is: not everything spoken is communication. Some are just emotional outlets, some are even tests or attempts to push your boundaries. When a statement has nothing to do with what you're dealing with at the moment, doesn't seek your consent, and only serves the other person's emotions, it is essentially noise to you. And you are under no obligation to make way for anyone's noise.

If you often encounter this situation, remember three judgment and response principles: First, ask yourself: Is this message necessary information or emotional venting? If it's not necessary, you can choose not to engage. Second, remember this: refusing to listen does not mean disrespect. True respect is to confirm whether the other person is willing to listen before speaking. Third, and most importantly: you are not anyone's emotional container. You can choose to reserve your attention only for important matters and important people. Not everyone’s words deserve to enter your world. When you start filtering what you're willing to listen to, your life begins to become quieter.