Before giving any advice or guidance to a child, there is actually a "precondition." And this precondition often determines where our words will ultimately lead. The truly effective precondition is that I assume this child is positive, energetic, and genuinely wants to improve. All communication is built on the belief that "he can, he is capable." Because in reality, parents will inevitably face setbacks. We naturally hope our children get better and better, but when emotions are high, tired, or anxious, it's easy to make a judgment about the child in our hearts: "He can't do it," "He has many problems." As a result, there is a kind of communication that seems to be for the child's good but actually deviates from the right direction. The words we speak are based on the premise that "he is already not doing well."

The fact is: no matter how gentle or reasonable your words are, as long as you believe in your heart that "my child has issues," the child will definitely sense this. And this sensed "lack of trust" often pushes things toward a worse outcome. So what truly reminds me of this is not "how to say the words," but where we stand in our hearts before we speak. Every time we communicate with a child, it's worth asking ourselves first: Is my current premise one of concern for the child, or one of trust in the child? When our premise is that I believe in my child; I believe he has the ability to face difficulties; I believe he will ultimately move toward betterment. You will find that the words you speak will naturally change, and the feelings the child receives will be completely different.